Sexual Issues
Hypnosis For Sexual Issues
Sexual issues are common, but because most people don’t talk about them, they remain a mystery; like the ‘elephant in the room’ that nobody wants to acknowledge.
Low libido, painful intercourse, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction and sexual anxiety are all embarrassing problems that most of us would rather not have to address; yet these are serious issues that can be treated very successfully with the right help.
If there is no medical reason for a person’s sexual problem, they may benefit from exploring the psychological and subconscious causes.
What Is Sexual Dysfunction?
Sexual dysfunction can be described as difficulty experienced by an individual or couple during any stage of sexual activity. It can include:
- Low libido;
- Inability to orgasm;
- Painful intercourse;
- Premature ejaculation;
- Erectile dysfunction
While some of these symptoms can be due to medical conditions (for example, painful intercourse can be caused by vaginal atrophy, especially for menopausal women), many are directly influenced and sometimes caused by a person’s state of mind.
Many Sexual Problems Are Relationship Problems
Hypnotherapy can’t cure any sexual problems that are physiological in origin. For most people, though, it’s a mental game that is driven by many psychological and subconscious elements.
In fact, most sexual problems are relationship problems. Let me explain this further:
Initially the person experiences a problem during sex. This may be an inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or something else.
Once this happens a few times, the person starts to worry that it will become a permanent problem, and they feel compelled to fix is as soon as possible.
This sense of urgency to fix things often compounds the problem, and is usually based on some kind of fear of loss.
That is: potential loss of a relationship if the issue does not resolve, loss of self-esteem or confidence or loss of some kind of personal identification.
For example, if a person has based a good portion of their sense of wellbeing on their ability to perform sexually or their reputation as a ‘skilled lover’, then the potential for losing this can evoke a great sense of fear.
So, in these situations we have a perceived risk of potentially losing our partner or some part of ourselves.
Where The Fear Comes From
Much of this fear is caused by subconscious beliefs about sex that we developed at a very young age such as:
- ‘I have to make my partner orgasm’;
- ‘It’s not real sex if it’s not penetration’
All of these beliefs tend to compound to the situation. The fallout can erode a person’s sense of self-worth to the degree that this impacts their relationship with their partner and with themselves.
And finally, if the person’s partner is not aware of their own internal issues, they may internalise the problem by assuming that this obstacle has arisen because their partner does not find them desirable.
Feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy on both sides can then seriously jeopardise the quality of the relationship.
So, as you can see, if left unaddressed, sexual issues have the potential to erode our relationship with our partner and our relationship with ourselves.
How My Hypnosis Treatment Resolves Sexual Issues
When I work with clients to resolve sexual issues I:
- Gather information, so that I can figure out where the concepts of sex and relationships originated and identify the beliefs and behaviour patterns that are not helping the situation;
- The sessions involve hypnosis to address the conditions and beliefs that are causing or exacerbating the problem;
- I encourage my client to have open and honest conversations with their partner about sex, sexuality and expectations in relation to intimacy. Once people feel safe enough in their relationships to discuss these issues, the pressure comes off and they can more easily move towards a resolution;
So, we want to rebuild self-reliance and self-esteem so that the client understands at a deep level that their sense of worthiness is not solely dependent on their ability to be a skilled lover.
CASE STUDY: Jason and Janine
My client Jason had enjoyed a varied and fulfilling sex life up until the time he met his partner Janine. Janine was a girl he really liked and he was hoping their relationship would grow into something serious with time.
The problem was because he cared so much about Janine, Jason was anxious to please her in bed. So, he was horrified to discover that during his first sexual encounter with Janine, he was unable to maintain his erection.
Janine was very understanding and reassured him over and over again that she cared about him and that she was willing to work through the problem with him.
A Catch-22 Situation
Yet the damage was already done; the initial incident had such a profoundly negative effect of Jason’s self-esteem that each time he attempted to have sex with Janine, he expected the problem to arise again; and it did.
I worked with Jason to address the negative beliefs and expectations that he had accumulated over time, and to improve his self-esteem to the degree that he could function sexually once again.
It also helped that he had a caring partner who nurtured and encouraged him.
Janine was willing to take the sexual side of their relationship slowly until he recovered, and with the right treatment and support, Jason and Janine were able to develop and maintain a satisfying sexual relationship.
Having sexual dysfunction can have devastating effects. This can cause feelings of shame, guilt and inadequacy and can seriously jeopardise the quality of your relationships.
If you have a sexual problem, hypnosis can help. Work with a Melbourne-based hypnotherapist to address the beliefs and behaviour patterns that are exacerbating the problem and you can enjoy a happy, healthy sex life once again. You are most welcome to call me directly or visit my Contact Us page for more information.